midwinter, 2008.

hey, been without internet for A LONG TIME... coupla months...

sometimes not much happens in a given couple of months, though this last couple... whoooo haaa......

so, yes... let's just say the whole taotiger cosmos has transmogrified into something unimaginable only a short time ago... and a complete site remake is coming up no doubt soon.

so much art, & assorted junk, to put up here - even some paintings that actually look like things.. (!)... and yea well, it's wait&see really - though check back weekly if you want to see something cool - all this junk in a new Flash format maybe, or who knows... a shift has occured, and the result will inevitably turn up here at taotiger.com now i've found a more stable connection...

ciao for now.

nth Today, Mullum . . ... ^^

hey well... so, found a spot in the forest to be (left)... and a connection through happy circumstance at the place pictured (right) to update now and then... so likely a less abstract and slightly more personal blog and site content now and from now, in the new everyday now to come, as it seems... :)

it's kinda nice here, and well nice is... nice o_O

the now of nowhen, 2000&huh...?

hey a funny thing happened.... ;)

doing my thang at home, business/life as (un)usual, and a visit from 3 cult people who show me some hypnotic videos and attempt to "take me to the mothership" throws an unexpected and very welcome monkey wrench into the same-ol same-ol whatever-it-is that i do... idk, maybe there was AcId in the food they served, or possibly just a royal mindPHuck led to some tripped out days, before an illumination occurred that hey, yes these wackos are right, and i *do* need to head up the East Coast and out of the god-forsaken city tomb of the working stiffs and other assorted zombie/vampiric peoples... & no offence to the lifeblood loving many there who are kicking along with groove - just a city is a city is a city... like (maybe) Herman Hesse wrote:

"a hammer is a hammer - you can use it to bash rocks or hammer nails. a barometer is a barometer, and if you use it to hammer nails, it will break..."

so many thanks to the thoroughly unscrupulous cult-freaks who sought to coerce me up the coast to their Paradise Valley... i'm not going near any Paradise Valley of theirs, and they didn't know that while i act straight as a die, i LOVE acid (well, used to), and have been tripping so long so hard that this intrusion was not more intense exactly, but the impetus for a -different- kind of Wandering...

and Byron Bay seems like a good place to 'set a spell' and get into the human BEingness of it all - nowhere to go with urgency, nowhen to be there by... i just made a sign to take with me to the beach or wherever, "Portraits", so this is the grand plan as it stands, supporting the ultimate wiggliness of the Watercourse Way brushing a little colour and hometruth of image into the lives of passing tourists and fellow wanderers...

and Hey to Rory, Kai, Tania, & the other wondrous fairyfolk meeting in this mist-forgotten wilderness - *tips hat*: "well met"... ;))

here's a coupla pics - yesterdays portrait (aren't they all) for a new neighbour, and some dude kicking back writing a blog...

_/\_ namaste

14th May, This Year

yeah, like wow... the word is seriously overvalued - stop and listen, hear... & move..... ;)

_/\_

24th April, 200sssshhhhhhhhh.......

have entered a period of Mouna (vow of silence) some time ago... talking only seems to get in the way of human relating anyhow - useful to facilitate exchange, though cumbersome and superfluous for *communion. in practice, as i feel already, the discipline of silence re-channels the energy of speech into other senses and parts of living, charging up hearing, seeing, emotions, activity, vitality - a little like the way a blind person really does develop sharper senses of smell, sight, etc. the effects penetrate even to thinking more clearly, as well as subtle realms of being not usually noticed...

and why...? well, i lay sick for 23 days with a really messed-up and terrible fever, on the verge of death so many times in more-or-less continual delerium, and with no traditional cures working, so that i had to do something - you know, ask anyone who sickens to the point of almost dying, you know it sure as hell when its happening - it feels as though there's a waferthin veil between you and whatever awaits beyond, and the only way to recover is by realising the gravity of the situation, and pulling yourself back into life by whatever crazy-assed means are at your disposal - beginning with an affirmation of the sheer will to live. and it seems i have a mission in this life, that's not anywhere near complete - it might not have a name or even any tangible indication of its accomplishment like a certificate or clear end-point, but i'll know it when it's time to go, and that time was not last month...

quite simply, all indication is i may have almost "talked" myself to death, as strange as that sounds... you know, heeded other people's words so greatly, and believed so fervently in the power of words to heal myself and others in need, that particularly concerning a few relationships, the kind of massive efforts i put into helping out friends with an awful lot of life-energy going into my words of comfort and advice to them, i had none left for myself to stay alive... so, i've shutup for a while...

and, is it a 'spiritual' practice? sure, it's been done by christian monks and hindu sadhaks, taoist adepts and buddhist practitioners for thousands of years, as well as laypeople from all walks of life. though, it's no more spiritual than any other activity - since imho 'spiritual' isn't something separate from the rest of life, but runs all through the whole lot of this existence... in some respects, one purpose of this person it -seems- is to "salve the spirits" of others & help people sort out whatever 'spiritual' crises they're going through - so yeah i guess since everything i do is directed to this end, and as this silence is fostering more empathic understanding of others and an increase of vital energy for what i do, it's as spiritual as anything else...

cheers, to anyone who comes across this artifact of life.. _/\_

3rd April, 200X

fever fever burning brightly dank and clammy, speak to me in delerium of the underworld some more... please oh please because 8 days of unceasing weakness and shaky lethargy is enough to merely catch a glimpse of drowning in a swampy inertia, and like drowning once before years ago now in the stromswell ocean, glimpsing beyond within *here-and-now* inside insight of the wraithworlds might be enough to froth achingly in this savage bliss before being caught up with by the nether-force deus-in-absentia transiently, only... only... the dank wet feverish stupour of languishing in damp sweat all day cannot continue indefinitely, if soon ever comes, soon remaining a lingering proportional to this interminable boggering-down dissolving effect tonight, during dryer more level-headed coming sky-high eagle weeks the melding of the most sublime death-throe ecstasy with the foetid earthbound variety... Solve now, Coagula now, later now...

give a man a heaven and he'll wander aimlessly for a mighty long while, though grant a guy a taste of succulent tender agony and the pain of healing, after purposive activity of recovering from hell-realm burning torture, further pain thenceforth sings of life.

shua! lll..............

11th March, 2008

the clouds lift, clearer sky... a hundred humbling experiences and the ground reaches into and beyond the blue... a merging of the below, and the above - spinning altogether sideways, unremittingly.

feeling anything, is feeling everything... would we who feel deeply have it any other way, exchanging the terrors and delights for stability and brief certainty? ...like there's a choice.

---> a new vision expressed in writing with open eyes +++here+++ ...i'd recommend it as a worthwhile vantage point along the winding path of this site. and the image galleries of my strange and ever-changing drawings and paintings, are also up and running again, after a looong hiatus, here.

and welcome to the amazing number of visitors through taotiger.com who continue to be drawn by the promise of information about Semegra Forte, which is further down the page here, so you can go straight to it... ;)

namaste _/\_

16th February, 2008

hey, something a bit different.. a picture representing some influences, as how it is now.. hope it speaks to someone reading, the image a map of a vital plane, of inner leanings and guiding ways of being..

let's drink a toast to absent friends - cheers.. ^^

31st January, 2008

there's not much to say, i spose... a tumultuous period just gone by, lots of changes, plenty of ups and downs... and yet, life goes on...

i wish i could say some magic words to alleviate suffering of all types, or at least make it bearable moreso than it is for some people... but, maybe in the time just gone between posts, i've learned that "love, and let love" is just about as good as any way i've come across, to get by...

maybe i wouldn't change anything, even if i could - still, it hurts to feel people struggling in this concrete wilderness... and i'm as much in this unnatural city living space as anyone, so maybe i need to get away for a bit... if anyone wants to come along on a trip into the country, i'm up for it - somewhere that lets you know there's not much point in fussing about trying to fix things - a tree might be leaning, but propping it upright isn't going to do anything much to help anything...

ah, yep... driving into the bush - time for a getting away from the same-ol same-old...

maybe all this wistfulness comes from reading this beautiful site, Enchanted Fairyland, that a friend built about a nature-tripping free-spirit of the last century...

...and from sticking my world-changing nose in places a couple of times lately where it has no business...

anyway, a new drawing (here) has materialised amidst the to and fro of ordinary chaos lately - the image-resolution leaves something to guess at, but it's pretty clear.. like i wrote to someone else about it:

"each level obviously is a different worldview... as shown by the facial expression and symbol... they can combine... and each of us has all of this in us, as we are all essentially the same, in that we *can* be like anyone else... yet, people are stuck at different levels according to what they hold dear, and the principles upon which their lives are based... we can change, though, and do from moment to moment, switching frequently between levels... just, some people are habitually stuck at particular ways of being... and the higher aren't really better - it's all just differences... of course, there is a transcendent quality of existence (at the same time as immanent), represented by the circle... and stuff... but, importantly, no gods depicted here - this is a Buddhist-ish drawing, yet without the intricacies of scripture, like Zen... or like Advaita in many ways... or Tao..."

seeya later.. dream well. _/\_

29th November, 2007

two new website sections.. one, an essay about transcendence, and how it naturally comes about - a perspective on a certain kind of change.. if you've enjoyed anything else on the site here, and if you enjoy enjoyment and wish for more, then this is a place to find it - i guess it's some of the best stuff i've written, imho.. this article is simply a perspective, based on experience, and not a scholarly treatise - a particular manifestation of inspiration.. here.

and a tribute to love, the second section.. a ten-year anniversary gift.. here.

peace.

24th October, 2007

a really trippy time lately... car crash the other day, lots of herbal fun with mind-bending teas, Second Life expansion of involvement in all sorts of things, helping out a few people with their life dramas along the way, heaps of gardening including a largish tobacco crop that'll go down smoothly come April, a new writing voice producing some different & ok quality poetry and essays (which i hope to share here soon), two new cool paintings... and lots more besides... been enjoying time with people near me lately, loving the vibes with Min, P & J, K8, Jan, Vinz, Marg, Ama, Manis, Kitten & too many more to mention... spring i guess - it's a wonderful time... :))

29th September, 2007

to all near and with me thus far this life:

sincerely, i wish you all what you deserve - may karma swiftly and soundly reward and punish all for every act, that we may start afresh and learn from the consequences of our actions sooner, rather than later. so that the best may experience the best and continue to enlighten the world. and that all who have committed terrible injustices feel the full force of regret and suffering, so that through insight, a more loving way is possible, and life comes to be valued and respected...

13th August, 2007

i know, it's a long time between drinks - first blog in almost two months - there's a transcript of two posts from the ISIS Yahoo Group here. topic is "is matter composed of wrinkles in space" with a question first, and then my reply... hope you enjoy it. :) oh yeah, btw Second Life is going swimmingly ;) with new buildings on my little block, acquisition of more land, an expansion of the gallery to include three more shops and, as always, sooo many wonderful people. still, i love everything about it after so long being involved. "and i think to myself - what a wonderful world..." ...too true, Louis :)

take the modern trend towards manifold splitting, differentiation, complexity, in much modern art - music, painting, movie, etc... and ask how it makes you *feel*... once, maybe, fewer elements of a more 'natural, organic, anologue' order, were used to convey much the same feeling as modern artistic compositions. and while the intensity of experience is still accessible through recent creations using complex division and re-combination of more meaning-imbued components, it surely requires greater feats of cerebration, stretches of understanding, leaps of intuition, to interface with the whole of most contemporary artworks, in any sphere, than in any time in human history. no longer are the visceral reactions to the entirety of, say, a ritual dance from an ancient culture still accessible. hardly even is the pathos of a seventies supergroup extravaganza or post-apocalyptic punk explosion replicable with the fashionable tools of creation in the current clime of pastiche and proliferation of dis-ensouled information.

no longer is art art. no more does it *imitate* life. art has *become* life, through virtue of appealing to not only recognised and conscious levels of perception. the immersive quality of multi-layered environments of sensory stimuli penetrate unfathomable depths in the psyche of even those people formerly alienated by choice or apathy. music, visual forms, human growth modalities as entertainment, television, internet, radio, virtual worlds, advertising - all these form a fabric of our lives now not seperable by intellect into causal networks. rather, the simultaneous uprising of life and art - formal, popular and radical/'alternative' - is reflected not only by the enormous variety of *media*, but also by the *density* and richness of each single piece of art... as always, there are throwbacks to former times, yet the cutting edge has become not so cutting, not an edge - more a comprehensive symbiosis of human-generated *subtle* life uniting on an almost cellular level with the corresponding organic aspects of the host. not approachable by reason. not ammenable to analysis into component parts having predictable effect. but, an all-consuming simulacrum of life itself, whereby the complexity of the *content* of largely digital modern mixed media is beginning to not just imitate, but merge seamlessly with, the human creators and audiences.

How does it *feel*...? ...like my symbiote is finally achieving equal rights.

17th Maybe, 2000 & Seven

so, yes Second Life has been dominating my time lately... lol... and then some... so i haven't updated in a while... anyway, i bought a block of land in there, and have set up a house, gallery and temple of sorts. anyone wishing to visit, just look up Taotiger Janus and drop by for a cuppa... other than this virtual life, not much has been going on - just meeting extraordinary people in Second Life and adventuring in this boundless world... i would encourage anyone visiting this site (taotiger.com) to go to the "Pen-ultimate Articles" section and have a read of "Pointers For Living" - that one's not bad, and if you feel like reading an enjoyable bit of fantasy, the "Short Fictional Story" entitled Uroboros Dreaming has had some positive feedback... take care all, and hope to see you in SL sometime soon.... cheerio. :)